When it comes to a separation or divorce, there are a lot of things to consider. One important option that many people don’t know about is the postnup. In this video, Divorce Attorney Alla Kurolapnik discusses when a postnup might be useful and how it can benefit couples going through a separation.

SPEAKERS

Alla Kurolapnik, Michael Levitis

Michael Levitis  14:12

Hi, everybody, it’s Michael Levitis with JurisQ.com with Alla Kurolapnik, a divorce attorney. Alla, welcome back.

Alla Kurolapnik  14:21

Thank you, Michael. Thank you for having me.

Michael Levitis  14:22

My pleasure. JurisQ.com — we are a legal network where we bring you attorneys to answer your commonly asked legal question and one question that is very, I would say, a little obscure. Not everybody knows about it, is postnuptial agreements. Prenup in before getting married, that’s part of our popular culture. However postnup is not as much. I want to ask Alla, Alla does  divorces with mediation. That’s the goal to have a mediation. How postnuptial agreements are attractive, why they are created? How can you convince the other party if need be to enter into one? How mediation plays out? I know it’s a three prong question.  

Alla Kurolapnik  15:21

Okay, so let’s talk about postsnup. Postnups are a little bit more, this stuff substantively wise, they’re not tricky, because you’re really dealing with the same common core issues that you would deal with in a prenuptial agreement, in a divorce agreement, and in a Separation Agreement. The core issues are the same. The question really is your fact pattern, and your fact pattern depends on the circumstances of the parties, what’s happening in that family, the family dynamics and what’s driving these people to now consider this move. I’ve had couples in the past where I’ve represented a client who came to me for a prenuptial agreement, but because of time constraints, we weren’t able to finalize it in time for those people did a postnuptial agreement.  A postnuptial is an agreement after you already married? A postnuptial agreement is an agreement that two people enter with respect to various financial issues after the marry and prior to divorce. With a postnuptial agreement you get to maintain the same household and live together, there’s no need to separate. But what you do is you’re securing, your respective rights and rights to certain separate property or contractual rights dealing with financial issues before divorce happens. So it’s entered into becomes valid or enforceable after the parties marry. I want to ask you for usually do you see people enter into postnuptial agreement when they were thinking and considering the worst? Sometimes we have to flush that out. So I just had a conversation the other day, where a potential client came to me and said: look, my wife, I just found out my wife’s cheating on me. I’m heartbroken. It’s a 30 year marriage. We have two grown children together. I’m not really sure what to do here, I kind of told her that I want to stay in the house. I know she’s not going to be able to pull the house. I’d like to keep the house, settle out the finances, and I said: okay, so I understand from the financial perspective what you want to do, but emotionally what is it that you want to do? Now you want to, do you think there’s a possibility for the two of you to work out your problems? How did you find out about the infidelity? Did you hire a detective? Because then you must have been suspecting something a private investigator? Did she tell you about it, did you catch her in the act? Because all that makes a difference about your next steps, right? This is your emotional state of mind. So he said: well, she actually told me about it, I kind of I suspected, and she told me about it. He said to me: she didn’t feel remorseful. That was the most upsetting thing to me. I said: okay, I understand that and he goes based on that, I don’t think that I want to be able to, then I’m going to be able to stay with her. So I said, okay, then a postnuptial agreement probably wouldn’t be the right thing for you. Let’s consider a Separation Agreement, to give your mind that space to settle into where you are. And then you could live with that for a year, you could live separate and apart, you could resolve the financial issues, and then we can consider the divorce. So again, these are the kinds of things you really flush out, I had another gentleman who came to me and said his wife filed for divorce. Now she realizes the worst mistake of her life, that she absolutely loves and she wants to be together, she wants to withdraw the actual divorce and I said: whoa, wait a minute. Now that a postnuptial agreement, there you have assets to protect, now rather than divorce has started the clock has started running on the what’s considered separate property or anything income that you earn, after the divorce action, I said, we’re gonna have valuations, you may be in a better position to valuate those assets now, as opposed to two years from now. Because this happened during the pandemic when values of businesses were way down. So I said: not with a postnup, we have to consider that. So again, these are the times that I would advise a client. Once you flush out the issues, whether or not a postnuptial agreement is appropriate, or separation agreement is appropriate, or whether the parties should divorce. This can all be explored in mediation. But it makes it harder, like, in my perspective, I think that you should probably if you’re in this kind of a situation, speak to an attorney first. If you and your attorney figure out that maybe let’s try mediation, because there’s going to take down the heat in the room, and we can have a better chance at coming up with a proposal or a package. That’s kind of doable to everyone, then let’s do that. In those circumstances, I would act as the consulting and review attorney. I would simply have, I’d refer a client out to a 

mediator, that’s what I would do. So again, the postnuptial agreements, they’re effective, they’re good to be able to, again, it’s, the last thing you want to do is be in a situation where you’ve accumulated substantial wealth and given your life to a marriage, and then finding out about issues in court, because it breaks you as a person, breaks your emotional state of mind. It breaks your pocketbook, quite frankly. Litigation is so expensive, and it’s litigious, and it’s just, it can be outright nasty.

Michael Levitis  21:49

And who are the only winners in the end? Attorneys?

Alla Kurolapnik  21:52

I’m gonna say probably the attorneys, but even then, I don’t want to come home with a headache either, right? It’s very draining, because you’re having a stranger, in a black robe decide the most intimate decisions of your life.

Michael Levitis  22:09

Yeah. Also, I thought about this. You spent your life or substantial years of your life as a couple, right? So at some point, you guys loved each other. Maybe you have kids in common? Do you want to become enemies now through a court proceeding, which can often turn you into their enemies? I think it’s much better to resolve things amicably peacefully, in the room with your attorneys, and mediators, who can bridge the gap? Without breaking your pocket like you said. 

Alla, thank you so much, it was very important to realize the difference between a prenup and a 

postnup, how postnup can help and the difference that I didn’t even realize that there’s a big difference between a postnup and a Separation Agreement. You better talk to your attorney, somebody like Alla Kurolapnik to understand what is better for you at your stage of your life, because right now, we’re talking a vacuum, right now we’re just talking about generally, but it’s always best. When you are have these thoughts ready. Maybe I should separate. Maybe I should divorce — talk to an attorney right away, because you want to preserve your rights and you want to carve out a map for yourself going forward, how to do it in the right way. So Alla, thank you so much for your time, we appreciate it. Your phone number is in the bottom of the screen. If anybody has any questions, you’re welcome to call. Until next time, have a great day.

Alla Kurolapnik  23:43 Thank you.